Back on track

After yesterdays new and pending financial ruin i spoke to the natwest help last night but they were unable to make me an appointment for the morning but did manage to ring me at 8:30am after I got in bed 6 hours earlier! I know it proactive but come on people all I want is two lay inns’s a month and today would have been one! So after me explain I was naked and would that be ok for the reminder of the conversation the lady on the other end sounded happy, I even thought it would have worked to soften her up but no joy, the verdict! Ok but not good, everything now is very tight and if this sale doesn’t go through I think very very drastic measures will have to be taken just to keep the house, I have to speak to the loan people tomorrow but that has headed for the collection department! And the mortgage has a slight stay of execution. Tick tock Tick tock! I even went to the back to sit down and talk all through this but they had no one available! So I got her to put a note on my file saying I had tried to sort this out but the bank were unaccommodating, don’t think that would work in my job, Sorry I cant put that film on I just don’t have the people! Can you make an appointment?

So with some more motivation thanks to yesterdays turn of event (aka getting screwed over) I managed to box up some more stuff and move it over to me mum’s, I think this work good for 2 reasons. 1-I can see what I haven’t packed yet and 2-I can move stuff from her house when I move, after explaining the events she gave me £20! Now I cant tell you how much this helps me right at the time but some how being 26 and taking money of my mum made me feel a little sad, 26! And my mum is giving me the opportunity to buy my tea and food for tomorrow, I know this is short term but at one point today I started to wonder when my life went so wrong, not my present life but the one that put me in the situation.

But I started in a bad mood and finished the day in a good one, why? Not to sure! The thought of what’s to come? The thought of a person? The movies I watched (reviews to come)?
On thing that did make me stand up and take count is an email I got from a friend, it a poem about the loss on September 11th in the New York city attacks.

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will l always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

This made me realize how shot and unpredictable life can be and to take each day like it could be our last, now don’t get me wrong I plan to be here for sometime and I apologies to the people I may upset with that comment but that's my long term plan, Live! It also made me think of people who are special in my life and making every second count.

Another thing which made my hart stop today would have been the unnatural sound coming from my car, now there are some readers out there who would argue my car has never sounded like it should and on a cretin level I can agree but the little thing has kept me alive and keeps on going, tracked it down to the alternator but roller which is slowly slicing my belts! That’s good news coz at one point I thought it could have been the bearings which would cost a fortune and I don’t need to tell you that would not be a good thing! So after some small modification the noise is gone but the problem is still there so that is another trip to the garage but it will have to be a cheap one, I will try looking at it but I don’t hold much hope for that working.

So the plan for the next few days? Go a possible party sat night and its on like Donkey Kong Monday night as there is a work party and I tend to have loads of fun, and why break with tradition a visit to the girl friends to keep my happiness level above normal should be a possibility, after the weekend it should become easier for us to find the time we both want and with out the massive amount of traveling which come on people can only be a good thing!

I hope you are well and enjoying life how it should be!

Night all