starting to notice a pattern

I want to sell my house and move on with my life, what more can i say! AS i sit here with things going well all i want right now is to move, its like i can see what my life can be but cant get there, all the fun, joy, love, happiness and its all just out of reach, i almost get a glimpse of what can be before i have to come back to the reality of what and where i have to be, i suppose i have to get through the carp times to get to the good but i wish i could just move on and be the person i want to be and where i want to be but hey that’s life!?!? I wish it wasn’t!

Tomorrow is a new day and you never know it may be the day i have been waiting for and i try to keep the sunny side of life going but there seams to be a place where this becomes difficult and that’s where i once called home, but now it just a place, some where i keep my stuff and sleep and have to come back to, notice the word 'have' as if i had the choice i would never come back to but have to day after day.

maybe its my man flu, maybe i have just had enough, maybe im right, maybe im scared but all i know for sure is right now.... well its not a good feeling but tomorrow is a new day and im at work and not home so things will be better.

Night all where ever you maybe!

my trip home vid (about time!)

Good evening all, so after some very hard work with adobe’s video editing software and on help from the forum I managed to get the dam video made of my wonderful trip home from work last Saturday,

Well my deadly illness is still with me and I even thought about checking with the NHS to see if there are any wild, tropical strains of the flu going round as this doesn’t feel good, the other possibility is I have Man Flu, now this isn’t to be confused with any other types of flu and should be taken very seriously as it is life threatening! Ok maybe not but god dam its taken it toll on me! As for the rest of everything else? Its all good, its not easy at work just getting this promotion and being ill as this is the time I put all the effort in and with the next few weeks looking like a baptism of fire I really need to get me game on, got quite a heavy day of planning for my day at work and I may even possibly watch a film seeing I only have 1 free ticket left to last me the next 4 weeks! But it all depends on how I feel as at the moment all I want to do is sleep!

No more new on the house and how ever I try to stay positive it slowly becoming hard, also the fact no matter how much money I save or don’t spent it is impossible for me to earn enough to cover all the bills I have been landed in, time is becoming more and more of an issue but hey in not going to let it get me down as there is nothing I can do about it!

Time to sleep, night all x

So if you followed my last blog you would know I didn't exactly feel like a million dollars last night and with an impending night out planned it was my full intention to go out and enjoy it, can I say my plan work hands down, after what I could describe as a massive intake of caffeine I was more than ready of a fantastic night out and guess what! I did! The only thing that let me down was my voice and god did it hurt to talk.

So it started off with me meeting the girl friend and a good friend of hers so we could make our way to the karaoke bar, It was good to see her as it had been about a week since our last encounter and how ever much I want to keep what I have casual and what you would describe as any new relationship a week for me felt like a long time, epically when I have such a good time when im around her. So we made our way to the bar and despite the venue being not the best place in Manchester I had a fantastic time, I got to meet up and have a great time with some work friends and some old faces I don’t see as often, So after quite a few beers and loads of fun later (pictures supplied) and at the very end of the night we made our way back to hers which included a conversation about which is more painful, child birth or getting kicked in the nuts! We decided one was natural and the other wasn’t so we couldn’t compare but being a man you can imaging where my vote lies, now don’t forget I felt very very rough a few hours before this but I was still going strong at 4am so I think my plan of medication worked a treat. I only managed a few hours sleep before I took both of them out for a full English breakfast and a brew, I don’t even want to get started which is better, Tea or coffee! Come on Coffee drinkers back me up here! After a bus ride in to Manchester I left them both and picked up my stuff from work to make my way home until I decided I didn't want to stop the day there when it comes to the girl in my life so after some confusing text I decided to give them both a lift home, now this did add some mileage to my trip but to spend a little more time chatting it was well worth it. Now im happy which is all I need and the rest is just not worth think about so I as I hope you see had a amazing time, what is a good feeling is this is a two way thing and we plan to meet up aging soon but with work and other plans in life I know this wont be as soon as I would like but hey that’s life!

Back to the boring parts of life but I did manage to get a phone conversation sparked by the resent youtube new stories with her which toped my night off, now as for youtube I think it fantastic and what every you look at in detail will have parts that society wont like and that’s what is happening with youtube now, it funny to hear people say ‘they will shut it down’ Plz people you must be having a laugh, there is no chance and I would protest if they tried as I think it is a wonderful expression and has some amazing films/videos.

Now with my illness and lack of sleep I intend to get in bed before midnight, the last time this happened I think I was still as school but needs must and all that!

I would have put me new video of my breakdown online by now but with the state of the art editing software falling short when it comes to some easy clips im having trouble but I will stick with it and with all the power I have will try and get it on line soon.

Have fun!

Big night out!

So after Friday and the very good news i got i was slightly disappointed not to be going out due to a lack of somewhere to stay so along comes Tuesday and a night out for a friends birthday! So not only do i get to celebrate a friends birthday but the good new a got as well to but to top it all of i get to see the girl im seeing! it been about a week sine our paths last crossed so as you can imagine im quite excited and would even say giddy about tonight, i got up this morning and felt like crap and it got worse all day, now i admit the best thing for me would be to go home get in bed and get some rest but if you think thats my plans for to night you sadly mistaken, there is no chance in hell im going to miss to night. So Coffee, Red Bull and flu tablets should set me of on the right foot to stay alive for to night, i say stay alive as thats the only thing that would stop me from going out, when i think about it i think my friend wouldnt mind if i called a sicky for her party and there will be plenty of time for me the celebrate my new job but there is no chance i would miss a night out with you know who! Mind over matter! Now the question is can i last the night? Well i hope to but im sure feeling the way i do right now i expect to hit a few bumps in the road but bring it on!

I look forward to reading this blog entry tomorrow (day off thank god) to see if my passion is misplaced and foolish or my body can make me proud and take me all the way!

Stay tuned for the day after report!

to fix or not to fix, that is the question!

So after a late night i had the job of fixing my car today, Now to do this i was going to need the parts and thankfully there are some local shops that could possibly have what i needed, so the nest problem how to get there! Now after doing some searching on google i found this thing where u put one foot in front of the other, shift you weight and move the other foot past the other one and so on and so forth, they call it 'walking'. What a strange and new fangled way of getting round, so always up for new and exciting things i thought i would give it a try and what do you know it works, granted it not as fast as a car and you dont get any luxury that you would normal take for granted from driving but it dose get you where you need to be going. So after mastering this new way to trivial i got the parts i needed and spend an hour or so fitting them, and now for the moment of truth! Would the dam thing start as i did use the very last bit of power to keep my stereo going sat on the side of the road last night, Keys in, lights came on, and hay presto! it started and like nothing had been wrong with it! So i was more than happy but .....

Karma strikes again, for some reason my tinternet/phone line is not working, just take a deep breath and remember these things are sent to try us! i think the line is dead so im hoping there is a problem with the exchange and not a unpaid bill! So for the smart one's who are wondering how can he write his blog with out the use of the internet? Well thats all thanks to the bloke across the street who with his complete lack of router knowledge has left there router open! Now i have tried to explain to them about there open network but he keeps telling me he has a firewall, Im trying to find a stupid stick to beat him with but no luck so far. He started to park in front of me drive way a while ago so i set his router up so he could only connect to the internet for 60secods before he was disconnected, took him 2 weeks to get the message and what do you know! He no longer dose it! You may think this is harsh but it only using my knowledge to get my point across!

So in a nut shell car works, internet doesn’t! i think god my be sat up stairs thinking this bloke is in to good of a mood, lets change that! well he can give it a go but i hate to say (touch wood) he's going to have to try dam hard!

what a night!

so lets get things started, i got the job! Now i feel this is just what i need at this time in my life but this must be true proof of karma cas tonight on the way home i broke down!

The belt to me alternator stopped causing me to lose power and with out power i wasn’t gong any where but what a fun night! the bloke who picked me up was called Gaz and what a top bloke, i happened to be taking video for my next short film and he was more that happy to help with helping me get some good footage (video coming soon!) he also had a beer in his truck! i had a fantastic night even tho my car wasn’t working, it was 2 am before i got home and i have to spend the day tomorrow fixing my car. You cant plan night like this!